Just a place for me to write whenever i feel like writing. Mainly about things and issues around me....and of course...my passions.


Friday, 18 April 2014

I see dead people!!!

How many time do you meet someone, have a small talk and when you tell them what you do for a living mulut semua ternganga? Me, i got that a lot...like a lot a lot. 

Adakah rupaku tak sesuai dengan pekerjaan itu? Because I once met my husband's uncle at kenduri kawin. He assumed that hamba ni surirumah. I told him I work at a hospital, he casually said "oh...misi lah ni" (i got that a lot too). 

Last month I went to a course, they have this "Human Library" where we can borrow a book (seorang manusia) and "read" them. I borrowed 3 books. All 3 have dropped their jaw when I introduced myself and my reading time is cut to half since all of the books "read" me instead. How interesting!!!

The thing I do, is my best 'modal' for a small talk with strangers kalau time tu dah takde idea or I have little interest to know them. If I want to make conversation I rather not disclose my job because I will not have the chance to ask question. Bagus juga sebab I love to talk rather than listen (bad ahh??).

So what so interesting about this job? Messy, smelly, gory, scary and not to mention penuh dengan kontroversi. Oh, people like this kind of stuff ya....suka cerita misteri, suka cerita hantu suka gossip dan kontroversi. 

Soalan-soalan wajib tanya, be it from medical colleagues, layman, journalist ialah: 

- "tak takut ker?". I once answered no but now I would answer YES. Hamba takut the next person on the table is me. Belum cukup bekalan nak bawa ke alam akhirat. Belum cukup bertaubat mohon ampun dosa yang dulu2. Takut tiba2 mati....apa nak jawab kat malaikat dlm kubur nanti??

- "tak jumpa menda2 pelik ker?". I once answered no but now I would answer yes. Memang banyak benda pelik. Pelik kenapa manusia boleh berbunuh sesama manusia. Pelik ibu sanggup buang anak. Pelik anak boleh sembelih mak. Pelik bapak boleh dera dan rogol anak. Semua tu menda pelik. Pelik kenapa manusia sudah hilang akal, hilang arah, hilang agama. Memang pelik!!!

Jadi itulah dia, dah 9 tahun kerja ni....seeing dead people, up close and personal. Mohon Allah ampunkan kejahilan yang disengajakan ini. Depan mata tapi tak nampak. Ada mata tapi tak melihat. 

Semoga suatu hari nanti apabila orang bertanya, hamba bisa bercerita tentang manusia yang mati dan apa yang ada disebalik kematian....dan waktu itu harapnya lebih ramai mulut yang tenganga. 


*mencari masa nak tulis apa itu forensik since ramai sangat orang keliru. InsyaAllah

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

UMRAH: That small miracles


Sudah hampir 2 minggu meninggalkan bumi Makkah tapi harum Kaabah bagai masih terbau. Rindunya hanya Allah yang tahu. Rindu pada suasana ketenangannya walau jika dilihat macam serabut dengan gerombolan manusia. Kalau kat Malaysia ni jangan harap lar nak pg tempat ramai orang macam tu, sesak nafas, I don't like crowd. Boleh rasa nak pengsan kalau berada dalam tempat sesak dengan manusia.

Ajaibnya di sana walau orang ramai bertolak-tolak diri tidak rasa rimas, walau nak penyek rasa berhimpit takde pulak jadi sesak nafas macam dekat sini. It is all in your mind. Hati mahu juga mengucup Hajar Aswad, sesak tapi Alhamdulillah dapat juga. Mahu solat di Hijr Ismail, bersempit-sempit tapi dapat juga. Bersangka baik dengan Allah, berdoa dan berazam semuanya tak mustahil. Macam masuk ke Raudah di Masjid Nabawi. Hampir 4 jam menunggu baru dapat masuk, MasyaAllah, ramainya manusia bersesak dalam ruang yang sempit, bising dengan teriakan pengawal berpurdah bersuara nyaring. Tapi ruang untuk solat bagai terbuka sendiri, habis di sini, buka beberapa langkah dapat lagi....dan lagi....dan lagi....ALHAMDULILLAH (kepala kena duduk dengan orang depan cuma menambah manisnya pengalaman. Hubby pula kena pijak telinganya).

Bagaimana boleh rasa aman ditempat sebegini? I guess because that is what we want. Apa kita minta, itu Allah bagi. Our mind hanya fikir mahu mengadap yang Esa, mahu bercakap denganNya, momohon, merayu. Peluang yang ada mahu digunakan sepenuhnya maka akal dan minda sudah tidak memikirkan perkara lain. And for sure, that is His miracle.


Dari Abu Hurairah radliyallaahu ‘anhu, ia berkata bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda, Allah SWT berfirman,

أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِى بِى

              “Aku sesuai dengan persangkaan hamba pada-Ku.” (Muttafaqun ‘alaih).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Bersangka baiklah dengan Allah. Yakinlah bahawa dia Maha Mendengar. Apa yang terlintas dihati, terbayang diminda semuanya dia tahu. Berfikiran positif maka positiflah yang akan datang. Sebab itu boleh lihat orang yang nampak macam dah tua tak sihat tp di sana tiba-tiba jadi larat pulak, slow-slow habis tawaf 7 pusingan, habis saei 7 kali pergi balik. 

Sungguh Allah Maha Besar, Maha Mendengar. Few small miracles happened to me. Nampak kecil tapi besar maknanya. Allah bagai memberitahu, "Mintalah apa saja, Aku mampu memberinya jika Aku mahu". 

Kisah roti: When I was in Madinah, nampak this family makan this 1 type of roti. Leper, tebal berbentuk bulat. Hati macam teringin nak rasa roti tu. Masa di Makkah nampak lagi orang makan and I told my hubby I want that roti. Di Makkah tercari-cari mana agaknya jual roti tu, bila meronda-ronda mata melilau kot2 jumpa bakery. One day ternampak kedai runcit jual that particular roti, letaknya dalam bungkusan plastik atas lantai di luar kedai. Then we make mental note, "ok, nanti kita beli roti ni & beli kari kambing kat food court". Tak lama lepas itu, on the way balik dari masjid nampak orang ramai kerumun tepi jalan and I saw this boy helping a lady bukak plastik bungkusan, elok2 dia siap bukak I walked pass him and he handed me a piece of bread,  the 1st piece dari bungkusan itu, that particular bread, sama seperti yang diidam selama ini. Subhanallah!!!!! If it was not miracle of Allah, what was it?

Kisah air: Biasanya kalau pergi masjid mesti bawa botol air minum untuk isi air Zam-zam. Bekal sementara masuk waktu solat. Pada hari tu entah kenapa boleh tak bawa. Sementara menunggu waktu solat, tekak rasa gatal sangat. Nak bangun pg minum air kot nanti tempat diambil orang, tong zam-zam pulak jauh. Hati cuma kata, Ya Allah, hausnya...tekak gatal. Soon after, ada minah arab datang bawak teko dengan paper cup serving adani tea. Subhanallah!! Lega tekak, seriously!! The taste of the spice kuat ditekak, terdetik di hati, "kena wash down dengan air kosong ni". Then there they were, this lady yang baik hati dengan anaknya (I presumed) ambilkan air zam-zam dalam cawan, penuh tangan mereka & bagi dekat orang dekat2 dia. Subhanallah!!! Hilanglah sakit tekakku dengan teh adani dan hilanglah hausku dengan air zam-zam. Allah berkatilah mereka2 yang baik hati tu.  If it was not miracle of Allah, what was it?

Kisah stationary: Sebelum bertolak pg umrah I made a mental note to bring my name card untuk bagi pada ahli jamaah bila nak balik but somehow boleh terlupa bawa. So near the end of the visit terfikir-fikir macamana nak give my contact number to them. Otak kreatif ni bagi idea untuk buat sendiri kad, tulis lar thank you note ker, babai note ke. Hmmmm....good idea, mana nak cari kedai alat-tulis kat nearby area, semua jual souvenir jek. Hati dah tergerak nak cuba cari kat kedai runcit. Ok...KIV. On Monday keluar ziarah and singgah di Jaranah untuk miqat. Ustaz kata dinasihatkan yang perempuan tunggu dlm bas saja sebab tempat sangat sesak, niat dlm bas jer, xyah solat sunat. So we waited while the guys turun pakai ihram (mmg sesak, diorang pakai ihram tengah2 orang). I looked around, berdiri dan pandang ke arah deretan kedai sebelah kanan....dah tentulah nampak kedai makan dulu. Macam best jer kalau turun beli kebab. Then mata pandang lagi....Subhanallah!!! Hampir selari dengan bas kami ialah kedai stationaries!!!!!! Hamekau.....nak sangat, dah dapat, pegi turun, beli apa patut, jangan malas2!! (well, bila nampak kedai tu actually hati terfikir, bila masanya nak buat kad pulak). Tapi sebab takut Allah marah, dah bagi tak nak pulak I went down and pg beli kertas warna & colorful pens. Bila nak buat nanti cerita, boleh ambik masa in between prayers. InsyaAllah. So nak cakap apa lagi?  If it was not miracle of Allah, what was it?


Kisah masa: This is basically sambungan dari kisah stationary. According to my calendar, my "best friend" supposed to make her visit on the 17th or 18th March which means I'm not gonna have the chance to make Tawaf Wada (balik on 20th). I prayed to Allah to please postpone my "best friend" arrival supaya boleh tolak my mom untuk buat Tawaf Wada. Tapi padan ngan muka lar kan, tak ikhlas sangat kot sebab dlm hati masih terfikir yang boleh bayar upah orang tolak dia maka doa ini Allah tak makbulkan. Tapi tak makbul yang ni sebab nak makbulkan permintaan lain tadi tu which was masa nak buat kad. So dapatlah sehari setengah masa "free" untuk melipat origami. Dapatlah spread my contact no, my FB and of course my page for Suchi


So itulah ceritanya. Small miracles with big impact (to me at least). How great is Allah. HambaMu datang mengadapNya dengan diri penuh dosa. Datang mengadapNya memohon agar diampunkan, merayu agar diberi petunjuk dan jauhkan dari mengulang dosa-dosa lalu. Diri risau dengan cerita-cerita pengalaman buruk orang-orang "berdosa" yang kerap dicerita di majalah, di surat khabar, di blog and everywhere. Apalah agaknya yang Allah akan tunjuk pada diri ini. Subhanallah. Sampai bila pun tak akan dilupa. Bagai hidup dengan nikmat syurga di dunia, terdetik di hati muncul depan mata. Maka dengan itu sedarlah diri, tidak mahukah syurga sebenarnya? Jangan sia-siakan keajaiban yang ditunjukkan, menjadi seperti Bani Israel...sudah terbelah Laut Merah di depan mata tapi tetap mungkar menyembah patung anak lembu. Ya Allah, jangan biarkan hambaMu ini sebegitu. Guide me....PLEASE!







Monday, 24 March 2014

Umrah: Melihat manusia

Manusia ada pelbagai ragam. Berada di Masjid Nabawi dan Kota Suci Makkah sudah cukup untuk membuka mata tentang banyaknya ragam manusia. Mengadap Allah yang Esa ketika solat sahaja sudah berbeza ragamnya, ini pula dalam perkara-perkara lain. Cara angkat takbir, not sure orang dari mana tapi takbirnya tinggi dengan tangan dihadapan muka. Kedudukan tangan di atas pusat, ada yang tangan di atas dada, ada yang tangan lurus jer sampai sudah. Belum lagi waktu tahiyat....macam2 bentuk pergerakan jari. Orang Melayu pula bila duduk tahiyat akhir sedaya upaya nak duduk menyenget sedangkan ruang sangat sempit....Arab kat sebelah hangen jek. Pergerakan dalam solat, boleh dikatakan orang Melayu solatnya kemas, tak banyak gerak2. A lady next to me (somewhere from India) tengah2 solat betulkan lengan baju sebab terkeluar lengan. So many of them move a lot during solat, betulkan selendang nak jatuh, betulkan sejadah nak terbang. Belum bab dukung anak lagi. Hmmmm......I wonder camana orang Melayu nak solat kalau ada anak kecil...tak pernah buat dan tak pernah tengok. 


Tengok pula ragam dalam menutup aurat. To us following Imam Shafie, rambut sehelai pun aurat. Kaki pun aurat but to some of them exposing their feet is not wrong. People from Indian, Pakistan region belit kepala dengan selendang sahaja, on and off terkeluar leher and rambut. Boleh juga lihat pelbagai jenis tudung, telekung, jilbab, niqab, chador. My eyes get fixed on Indonesian punya sarung tangan yang ada flap menutup belakang tapak tangan.....wonder why they made it that way. Do they consider dorsum of hand as aurat?



Pakaian kaum lelaki tidak banyak berbeza, aurat mereka lebih mudah dijaga tetapi bila dalam ihram ramai juga yang terkeluar pusat dan lutut....yang terseksi sebab kain ihram nipis pun ada juga...(cepat2 tutup mata). Walaupun ihram semua putih jenis kain macam2...corak dan texture juga berbeza. Ada kain ihram moden sikit sebab ada butang (boleh eh?). I also came across "ihram exclusive" dalam butik Giordano. tapi tak kiralah jenis apapun kainnya, dari jauh semua nampak sama. Sesuai dgn tujuannya untuk meletakkan manusia sama taraf, tidak berbeza darjat. 


Dalam ramai-ramai manusia, my eyes sentiasa terpaku to a group of elderly ladies with tattoo on their face (I fancied tattoo and all sort of body decoration). I wonder where they're from and why they tattooed themselves. Tanya pakcik Google and he told me that those ladies are from Algeria. It was their tradition for a woman to have face tattoo. Face tattooing was actually a common tradition among women in the Middle Eastern and North Africa. The tradition is fading because of further understanding of the Islamic teaching. (hhmmmm.....it is highly likely that I'm gonna have a tattoo if Islam do not forbid it).

When I was there, I prefer to sit among different group of people, not fellow Malaysian. With some I can make conversation but most of the time I just watch and observe. Some communication was made with hand gesture and mimik muka. Antara bahasa badan:
 - tolak bahu sikit = nak lalu (most of the time diorang langgar jek, xde tolak2 bahu pun)
 - a gentle pat/stroke on the shoulder = thank you
 - hug = friendship, grateful (especially bila kongsikan sejadah, ambikkan air zam-zam)
 - gosok kepala dengan kedua tangan and kiss the hands ???? sampai sekarang tak tau kenapa that lady did that to me. I believe she is from Pakistan or somewhere around there base on her dressing. 
- a huge sincere smile = Hi! (I can't talk to you sebab tak paham satu habuk).


Sungguh manusia dijadikan berbeza-beza. Rata-rata orang akan bercerita, suku Arab orangnya kasar, ganas. Tidak dinafikan. Tubuh mereka besar, kalau orang kita terlanggar sikit mungkin tak rasa apa-apa tapi kalau mereka terlanggar kita mungkin dah rasa macam kena rempuh. Suara mereka kuat dan lantang, kena tegur sikit kita rasa macam kena tengking. Tapi jika difikir dalam-dalam, eloklah sifat mereka begitu. Mereka ditakdirkan Allah untuk menjaga Tanah Suci yang dikunjung berjuta manusia, kalau lemah lembut bersopan santun macam orang Melayu mungkin tak mampu nak jalankan amanah itu. Ada kelompok manusia yang kita boleh lihat sifat bersatu mereka. Kelompok yang kalau dalam tawaf buat formation keretapi, tangan bertaut antara satu sama lain, kuat, tidak dapat dilerai....yang suara mutawifnya bergema sekeliling Kaabah. Ada yang anggap mereka mengganggu tapi jika hati sudah sepenuhnya memikirkan Allah tiada apa yang akan mengganggu sebenarnya. 

Seronok memerhati manusia. Belajar serba sedikit sikap dan perlakuan mereka. Memerhati budaya dan bahasa. Menerima ketidaksamaan, kelebihan dan kekurangan. To us we're different but to Allah kita semua sama. Bolehkah kita kata yang berselendang rambut terkeluar tak sah solatnya. Bolehkan kita kata yang bertatu muka tak sah wuduknya. When they pray, they cried....sama banyak air mata dengan air mata kita, mungkin lebih. They pray to Allah, asking for His forgiveness and mercy and Allah heard them. Jadi siapa kita untuk menilai mereka? 


Firman Allah: 



Sunday, 23 March 2014

Umrah: Perjalanan bermula....

Mengapa mesti bepergian, melancong, makan angin? Why do we travel and go places?? 

- keluar dari kebiasaan
- tengok tempat orang
- belajar perkara baru
nak cuba their variety of food and cultures

And then there is this one type of travel. The pilgrimage. The soul searching, spiritual journey. Depends on what they believe, what religion they follow, people will take a great effort to go to the associated places. Muslims will go to Mecca for Umrah & Hajj, Hindus has their Kumbh Mela, bathing in the sacred river of Ganges, Jews will visit the Wailing Wall and so on....

As for me, I was blessed to be "invited" by Allah SWT to visit the Holly Land of Madinah & Mecca. Agak sukar untuk memahami konsep 'tetamu Allah' ni pada mulanya. Kenapa mesti orang kata urusan pegi umrah haji bukan kehendak kita, Allah yang tentukan, Dia yang jemput. To me, if you want to go, you'll work for it. Xde duit cari and simpan duit, xde masa usaha dapatkan masa tapi bila pikir2 semula...kita berusaha, Allah yang tentukan. Itulah yang dikatakan jemputan Allah. Allah Maha Pengasih, kalau hambaNya dah kuat azam nak pergi ditambah dengan kuat usaha tentulah dia akan jemput. I read this article from mohamadzakihalim.com and it helped clear things out. Amat2 bersyukur dijemput menjadi tetamu Allah.....dan semoga kami tergolong dalam kategori tetamu yang dijemput dengan rahmat dan keredhaanNya.

As for why? I wish my journey to the Holly Land will give me a turning point from what I was to a new better me. Hamba berdoa agar Allah ampunkan dosa2 yang lalu dan jangan biarkan hamba buat lagi segala kesalahan2 tu. I wish my journey will give me new knowledge and change the way I look at life and people around me.  I want to come home refreshed and started a relatively "new" life. 


So off we go. Me, hubby and my parents. Initially, I planed the journey for just 3 of us tetapi Allah jemput my mom sekali. Pelan asal nak pergi on June but Allah planed it better so we went on the 10th of March. Alhamdulillah. Base on recommendation, we chose Wira Saujana Travel & Tours and again we thanked Allah kerana menetapkan hati kami. Kalau ikutkan nak jugak pergi cari ejen lain yang lebih murah. 

We travel by Saudi Arabian Airline to Madinah, singgah kejap di Riyadh dalam sejam. So 2 kali take off dan landing (tak suka part ni) but much better dari kena transit or travel by bus from Jeddah to Madinah. 



Sepanjang flight I can't really sleep and asyik nak pergi toilet. Lucky it was quite comfortable dan makanan pun best. Sepanjang perjalanan sempat watched 2 movies, played Bejewelled & Sudoku, listened to few surahs recitation & ulang2 panduan umrah. After about 10 hours kami pun sampai.....cramp pinggang!! Imagine orang dulu2 naik kapal laut. Imagine zaman Rasulullah they all travel by camels and by feet. Astaghfirullahalazim......sesungguhnya hamba kurang bersyukur. 





Urusan keluar dari airport Madinah berjalan lancar and our bus was outside waiting for us. Less than an hour journey dah sampai ke hotel. It is a 5 Stars Hotel (level Madinah) and sangat2 dekat dengan Masjid Nabawi. Udaranya nyaman sejuk at around this time. After short briefing kami naik ke bilik dan bersiap sedia terus untuk menjejak kaki ke Masjid Nabawi. I can't describe my feeling. Masa jejak airport air mata dah mengalir, bila jejak masjid tak payah nak cakaplah. And now I understand, for this reason people travel for pilgrimage. For the peace and tranquility it brings. Perasaannya tidak tergambar. You have to be there to feel it (or should I say, be there for the right reason). 










Friday, 15 November 2013

Sekolah....sekolah....

End of 2013 school session. Wall FB penuh dengan gambar anak2 orang terima hadiah cemerlang. Result UPSR keluar, penuh juga post berkenaan result anak masing2. Banyak juga post nasihat2 supaya parents tak terlalu sedih kalau anak kurang cemerlang. Nasihat2 tentang betapa pentingnya untuk tidak merendahkan anak2, untuk tidak membandingkan anak2. Ada analisa kenapa ada anak2 kurang cemerlang, nasihat supaya parents tak kiasu dan tak kurang kritik tentang sistem pendidikan negara. 




I have 2 sons in primary school. They are among the good students, tidaklah the top of the class but excellent....terutama time rajin. Bila malas graf turun. My sons as I told most people, diorang skolah pondok. Nama jer lar private school tapi bukanlah seperti yang dibayang oleh makcik pakcik hamba kat kampung. Skolah kecik, facilities gitu2 jer, kelas pun sesak jugak tapi dah lama in business and dah hasilkan insan-insan hebat dalam akademik, akhlak dan sahsiah. Honestly, everytime pegi sekolah diorang hati rasa tenang, tengok muka guru2 rasa suka jer. Well, kadang2 ade jugak lar menda nak komplen tapi very little and forgivable. 



Seorang kenalan once told me, kalau hantar anak sekolah private macam ni jangan expect super excellent academic result. Betulkan target that we want our children to excel duniawi dan ukhrawi. Tapi biasa lar parents, before hantar anak2 masuk mana2 sekolah mesti nak tengok exam performance skolah tu ok ker tak? Salah ker camtu? Parents always want the best for their children. Ada this one person asked me, "kenapa doctor tak hantar sekolah biasa, tak percaya sistem kerajaan ker?". Takde kena mengena dengan sistem sebab sama jer pun but I have option to send my sons to a school with "controlled" environment. So far so good. Xde hajat nak tukarkan masuk skolah gomen bila darjah 6 nanti just to make sure he score 5A and ada peluang pg boarding school. Errrr...ada lagi ker UPSR nanti? or dah tukar nama?  


Ketua nasyid....


Next year I'm going to send another one to the same school. Alhamdulillah he passed the "entrance" exam. Risau jugak dia tak lepas dengan keadaan dia macam tu. (read: Coping with Widad) Cuma risau mampukah cikgu beri lebih perhatian pada dia, mampukah cikgu mencari jalan supaya dia boleh seiring dengan murid-murid lain. Is it necessary for me to provide a letter from his pediatrician or therapist? I talked to someone from JPM this morning and she said teachers are trained to recognize children with problem and they have ways and means to help the child. Well, tu cikgu skolah gomen. They're trained dalam bidang perguruan. Camana lar cikgu2 skolah ni yer. I hope mereka bersabarlah nanti nak menunggu Widad menulis each and every letter sebagaimana cikgu Tadika dia bersabar. Dan ummi dan ayahnya ni harap-harap bersabarlah kalau he cannot achieves what have the brothers achieved. Melihat dia habis sekolah Tadika dengan report card berderet2 A pun dah sangat2 bersyukur berbanding dengan apa yang dijangkakan lebih 6 tahun dulu. Huh....sebak....


"I have a bicycle. The color of my bicycle is red and blue."


Thursday, 14 November 2013

A quest to a healthy me

I named my blog Stew Tulang for my passion to food and I intended to share that passion when I started this blog. My passion to food, cooking and baking caused me to grow bigger and bigger each day. My maximum weight was 89 kg and for a height of 1.55 m that was huge. 

Obesity runs in my family. My mother is huge, my aunties too. Mungkinkah disebabkan genetic atau they just love to eat sebab semua memang masak sedap and involved in food business. We somehow have quite a low metabolic  rate. My abah pernah pesan, jgn jd gemuk lagi, awak tu doktor. Hamba jenis manusia tak reti sgt makan dalam, takat those words tak jalan....

Relay for life 2011, size t-shirt XXL, jalan 1 pusingan pun penat

Mid last year my mom was referred to the surgeon for paraumbilical hernia and she was later send to another surgeon at other hospital who runs obesity clinic. I was there accompanying her for the 1st session and somehow it struck me. Berat satu hal....sakit satu hal....and the most important thing is....mana aci mak hamba sorang jek mengecik....hamba nak mengecik jugak. That was the initial spark of my motivation.


Around the same time, few members of Geng Mesin Jahit (GMJ) started a weight loss challenge. It started with H2O challenge. I was not really determined at that time tapi bila tengok few of them dah makin mengecil, perasaan jeles pun timbul. On 2nd January I started 10 days weight loss challenge bersama few GMjians. We started on Atkin's induction. Siapa menang dpt makan ikan bakar free kat Bellamy. I was really determined at that time and I won the challenge. Loss 4kg+ in 10 days and this time my aim is to be healthy sebab masa pegi teman my mom for follow up, the surgeon said "kurus bukan semata nak cantik tapi sebab nak sihat". Kalau nak cantik motivasi dia tak kuat sebab hamba gemuk ke kurus ker mmg dah perasan cantik (sila muntah hijau). Lebih sedar yang badan tak sihat dan tak fit masa ambil report card my son end of last year, kelas tingkat 4....mencungap panjat tangga. Enough is enough.....i must change my life. Mesti fit.

Last year my hubby mentioned about buying a bicycle but I din't allow him to.....takut jd tukun but this time around, terbakar juga dgn one of the GMJian who started to cycle, I encourage my hubby to buy a bicycle. 5 bicycles actually, 1 for each of us. My elders two dari tak reti naik basikal learn how to within a day sebab nak basikal baru. So that was it, 6th January 2013....my cycling activity started dan telah jatuh cinta sekali lagi. (I enjoyed cycling when I was in primary school and during my matric years). I promise myself to eat healthily and get fit so I can increase my cycling mileage.

Berkayuh di Kepala Batas


I started to join a fellow GMJian (Rozi Rahman) on weekend ride at Putrajaya then joining the Putrajaya Fun Ride. 1st time buat 22km during the fun ride jantung rasa nak pecah. Naik "busut" kecik pun kena turun dan tolak. A GMJian (Ida Sumie) and I were among the last cyclist to arrive.....sampai segan dengan marshall yg accompany us until the finishing line. But I was proud of myself sebab tak mengalah. That was Ida last ride for this year sebab she found herself pregnant soon after that (after 10 yrs of secondary infertility)....might be due to her weight loss and increased physical activities. 

Ride with GMJ

By end of May I weighed 76kg. I didn't take any weight loss product (Protein shake Jenama X pernah mengganggu sistem immuniti En.Suami and gave him nephrotic syndrome). I count calories with occasional cheat day. Minum air kosong, teh o n kopi o kosong jugak. I started to go to the gym twice a week on June to do some strength training. By Ramadhan I shed off few more kgs and inches but ruin it during Syawal. Dah nama pun raya.....makan versi hari raya lar....every week open house. 

Raya last year and this year.

On September I joined the 40km Ride for Syria. It was my 1st. By that time my fitness level was much better than my 1st 22km ride. With the folding bike I manage to finish the ride. Now that I own a road bike, 40km is not as hard. Dalam hati dah bersedia utk mencabar diri to go further. Mencari masa.......

Riding Mr. Jam, size t-shirt L


I want a healthy me.


* i recently met a lady in her 50s and she joined Century Ride....#malupadadirisendiri

Sunday, 3 November 2013

OMG....dah setahun lebih!!!

My last post was about my convo...it was more than a year ago. Where am I? Apsal xde tulis apa2 kat blog ni? Tenggelam dalam kesibukan sebagai specialist....mengarut!! 1 year....come on. Let just do some analysis:
- habis exam sibuk kejar projek sarung bantal. Paperwork, fundraising,  organising event...etc.
- kejar buat report...xde lar banyak mana pun....
-internet line tak elok kat opis,  broadband lembab
-ehhh....mana nak ada masa writting and updating blog kat opis. Camna dulu blh buat?  Oh...dulu start time student....banyak masa kat rmh jek, Unifi pun laju....hehehehe...
-it was the Facebook lar....senang update kat FB jer....tp hamba ada FB dulu b4 blog.....

Oh, whatever. Nak tebas lalang n pokok2 renek, nak sapu lantai n buang sawang2 serta najis2 tikus, cicak dan lipas (or maybe kelawar). Bacakan rukyah n give positive energy to this site. I want to restart writting....although I might be the only reader. 1 year....ruginya...